


Oizilla and Hanasaurus Rex

by timkons



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Anniversary, Crack Treated Seriously, Dinosaur Kink, Future Fic, Godzilla Kink, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Marriage Proposal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-12
Updated: 2017-07-12
Packaged: 2018-12-01 10:37:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11484624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/timkons/pseuds/timkons
Summary: Oikawa tries to find a way to spice up his anniversary night. Hanamaki may or may not be jealous.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> part of a 20 minute telephone swap i did with the wonderful [cheesy](https://cheesyshenanigans.tumblr.com/). she made some [really tasteful and blessed art of this](https://asses-in-slacks.tumblr.com/post/162890107838/o-shit-waddup-the-result-of-some-intense-20-min) that u should go check out.

_ Gift Ideas For Me And Iwa-Chan's Amazing Anniversary Date: _

  1. _I jump out of a cake._
  2. _I untie a ribbon around myself and let Iwa-chan unwrap **me**._
  3. _Iwa-chan **proposes** to me._



Oikawa underlines idea #2 twice and draws a giant circle around item #3 before sighing heavily. He leans back in his seat, arms wrapped around his head and leaning back far enough to stare at the ceiling. Despite his _fantastic_ ideas and creativity, would his Iwa-chan really want these?

(Of course Oikawa knew Iwaizumi would adore them, especially the second one, but would Iwaizumi _like_ them?)

No, the problem wasn’t Oikawa’s perfect creativity, love, or sexy body. The problem was that Iwaizumi would _expect_ these as part of an anniversary surprise. Oikawa nods to himself and then begins to balance the pencil between his nose and upper lip. After years of anniversaries spent together, Oikawa had to do something _truly_ amazing to make it special. The problem was: he had _no_ idea what to do.

-

“And so that’s why I’m asking you, a _professional_ couple, for advice,” Oikawa summarizes with a gesture of his hands.

Makki and Mattsun stare at him from across the table. Makki looks like he’s stopping himself from laughing while Mattsun could not manage to look more bored.

“Well, first of all, you probably should have found a more discreet way to ask,” Mattsun points out cheekily.

“Yeah, we told him we were meeting up with you for lunch so he knows he’s the only one uninvited,” Makki adds after slurping his empty milkshake so loudly that his straw makes a sound.

Oikawa’s eyebrow twitches but he grins, eyes dark in a way they only got during volleyball matches. “I suspected as much, so I’ll have you know Iwa-chan is _working_ right now!”

It makes Mattsun’s face perk up in interest and Makki delightfully releases the straw from his mouth. “Hey look, Mattsun, he’s finally catching on!”

“It’s sneaky alright. I like it,” Mattsun agrees, now leaning over the table with a smirk.

Oikawa would roll his eyes except he _desperately_ needs their advice. So he holds on, even when Makki loops his arm in Mattsun’s and leans his head against Mattsun’s bicep. “The key is finding something that makes your relationship special.”

“I _have_ , _”_ Oikawa whines.

But Mattsun’s blushing like he hadn’t heard Oikawa at all. As if Makki is a mind reader, his cheeks darken and he looks away before Mattsun helpfully provides: “Think of all the conversations you’ve had. Think of anything you’ve said no to that he _really_ wants.”

Oikawa swallows. It’s the _one_ thing he _doesn’t_ want to do and has absolutely put his foot down every single time.

Makki smirks. “Looks like he knows what it is.”

-

“Wh-What are you doing!?” Iwa-chan shouts as soon as he opens their bedroom door. The sight that assaults him is one of Oikawa draped over the bed, writhing like a creature out of a fantasy RPG.

Oikawa pushes into a kneel and holds his arms out like little raptor arms. He wiggles his hips so that the buttplug inside of him shifts side-to-side. There’s a tail attached to it, one that’s long and green with little spikes along the ridge. Oikawa’s cheeks are _burning_ from embarrassment but he takes a deep breath and recites the phrase he spent all afternoon practicing: _“Rawr_ , Iwa-chan~ I’m a big, bad monster. Are you going to let me destroy Tokyo, or will you come and destroy my ass first?”

“You said-- You never--” Iwaizumi takes a deep breath and steadies himself, but Oikawa can see the whites of his knuckles from where he’s fisting his hands. “You said you would never.”

“Happy anniversary, Iwa-chan. Or, as Godzilla says, _roooaaar!”_

Iwaizumi unbuckles his belts and pants in one motion and lunges at the bed.

-

“Tooru,” Iwaizumi says seriously, as they’re cuddling after the best sex he’s ever had in his life.

“Y-Yes, Hajime?” Oikawa stutters back, matching the seriousness of a rare first name basis.

Iwaizumi turns to Oikawa and looks him dead in the eye. After sex like that, he knows he can _never_ let Oikawa go. “Marry me.”

It turns out to be the best anniversary for them both.


	2. Chapter 2

“And after we made love _multiple times_ , that’s when Iwa-chan proposed!” Oikawa gushes, showing off his brand new engagement ring over the table. It’s simple, discreet, and made out of platinum gold, everything Oikawa isn’t, yet Oikawa is over the moon, showing it off at every opportunity.

Hanamaki frowns at it. There’s something pissing him off in the back of his mind and it isn’t the fact that it’s the seventh time Oikawa has shown of his ring like this. “And he asked you? Just like that?”

“Yeah, it’s because I did the _thing,”_ Oikawa boasts vaguely. Every time he tells this story he never explains what the _thing_ is, but Hanamaki wants to try it out.

“So what’d you do? Suck his toes? Push a rod down his dick? Let him call you daddy?” At least, those were the top most recent things he and Matsukawa had shared in Hanamaki’s bizarre-but-not-regretful sex life.

“No!” Oikawa gasps in a scandalized tone, complete with covering his mouth like the blushing virgin he isn’t, “I just dressed up like Godzilla for him! I mean-- You didn’t hear that!”

“Godzilla, huh,” Hanamaki muses, looking up the nearest adult store on his phone.

-

“Are you sure about this?” Matsukawa asks, tilting his head at Hanamaki stretched out on their bed.

Hanamaki’s on his stomach and pumps up one of his legs seductively, clawing at their bedsheets with little spicy peppers printed all over it. “Not into it?”

“Not exactly. Just not our usual thing,” Matsukawa confesses, shrugging in that take-it-or-leave-it way Hanamaki can never pull of just as suavely. “But you rock the outfit, so I can go for it.”

Hanamaki laughs and rolls onto his side to show of the rest of his outfit. The salesperson at the sex shop only gave him a blank stare when Hanamaki asked to see their dinosaur sex toys, but luckily they had some spare Halloween costumes. Elbow-length gloves and tight tube dresses were nothing new, but the t-rex headpiece, the claws on the gloves, and the tail attached to the butt were. Paired with Hanamaki’s favorite pair of high heels, he’s feeling like a Fuckasaurus Rex. “It’s cute, right?”

“Anything is cute on you,” Matsukawa assures, throwing aside the bone prop that came with the matching caveman outfit Hanamaki bought for him on a whim. “Alright, get ready for the Hard Age.”

Hanamaki squeals as Matsukawa crawls around him, grabbing him by the ankle and tugging him close.

-

They both rip each other’s outfits five minutes into their foreplay, but that’s okay because Hanamaki’s favorite position has always been riding Matsukawa with his high heels digging into the fat of Matsukawa’s ass.

“Roar for me, baby,” Hanamaki taunts, and he kisses down the sexy roar his boyfriend lets out for him.

-

“Hey, Mattsun,” Hanamaki asks, curled up against his boyfriend as they each hold a side of the iPad to watch Netflix after their fuck. “Wanna get married?”

“You’re jealous of Oikawa and Iwaizumi?” Matsukawa asks, not even bothering to pause the show they’re watching.

“Yeah, a little bit. I was hoping we’d get married before them and rub it in their faces forever.”

“Alright,” Matsukawa says. He simply kisses Hanamaki’s forehead before nodding, even if Hanamaki can tell he’s smiling fondly. “Let’s go shopping for rings tomorrow and I’ll propose to you properly.”

“Thanks. You don’t mind, right?”

“Not at all,” Matsukawa reassures, “just been waiting for you to be ready to say yes.”

**Author's Note:**

> feel free to hmu on [tumblr](https://90stimkon.tumblr.com/) or [twitter](https://twitter.com/cloneboys), or [consider commissioning me](https://90stimkon.tumblr.com/post/162750545663/commission-me)!


End file.
